OK so I squashed in another....

Just a quickie but, seeing as I am off to the Championships I was thinking back to the very first one I qualified for on Taz AKA Carryon My Nifty Guy. I was as nervous as hell and it shows in the video but anyway.

Ladies and Gentlemen I present the AQHA UK Open Western Pleasure Final 2004:



Oh and for good measure, here we are again earlier that season when he was ridden two handed...oh and I love this Suzi Boguss track...



Hey check me out with all this embedding!!! Good job I got done at my pre op early...right to the Championships......x

The Last Post...well for a little while...

Well this is me. I have a pre op assessment at the hospital tomorrow morning with various blood tests. Then it's bath the horse, pack the car and go.

The Championships start on Thursday and if I can I will try to squash a little blog in here and there (got my Blackberry with me)I will. I have two classes on Thursday and my two main runs for the Championships are on Saturday late on.

I get back early Sunday morning. That's right after I have polished off a full English Breakfast. Then I'm going to make sure I get a decent meal...Roast Beef i think before heading to the hospital for 8pm at night. You just know they are going to starve me after midnight :-)

I'm in for 5 days so I guess you can all enjoy the time off from my incessant ramblings...but the good news is...I'm going to be OK and what is more I am going to be myself again, I am confident of that now. Yes it's going to be a little rocky to start with while everything settles down but, I am really positive about the whole thing. You see that's how I normally am, Positive, you have to have a positive mental attitude or you won't succeed at all. I am going to win this battle, I have fought it for two years and I am going to come back stronger than a powered up Pac Man!!! I shall be a new WOMAN....well they keep telling me it's like being reborn! So bring it on!

So watch out world here I come.....and I can't wait to catch up with you all when I get back.

Adios Amigos xx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqjqFtC16-k

Houston we have a problem - continued

Oh and I forgot to mention..

Yes I know 4,000,000 americans got married last year and no I did not know that 2% of them met on eHarmony, nor do I care that you are now in the UK....

I AIN'T DOING IT!!!! YA HEAR ME???

Houston we have a problem...

OK I know I am trying to keep my health etc off this but, I do actually have a problem and as there is no other way for me to vent this, it goes here. If you don't want too much information then check out now.

Truth is, I'm worried. Now I know I have been telling myself that this is no big issue and that I can deal with it but, you know there are a couple of bits I need to get off my chest, so to speak.

What if I do feel like I'm not a woman anymore? I mean if they take everything out then what is left? What is there to make me a woman? OK two lumpy bits on the front will help but, will men have an issue with this? Will they think that I am less of a woman? Will that make me unattractive to them? I mean I want to think that I'll be the same and that I will still have that certain 'sparkle' but, what if I don't? I am shy enough at the best of times and yes, I do lack confidence on occasion but, if the bit that makes me 'sparkle' goes then what happens then? So you're all going 'What Sparkle? what is she on about?' Well a male friend told me that I have a certain 'sparkle' about me, now obviously I don't understand this but, he says men do! So OK if men can detect this 'sparkle' what if it disappears? I don't want to wind up alone with just my Greyhound for company!

I like being with someone, you know all that 'sharing stuff' I like that part of it. You know the bit where you make decisions together, like buying a sofa! You know I always wanted to do that, pick out a sofa, find one we both like by testing them all etc. I have never done that, I bet its fun. Which gets down to my pet hate...arm chairs....not exactly inspiring for a relationship where one likes to snuggle up to ones partner whilst watching a film or reading a book are they? I have an arm chair ban! I don't mind a really big one like a recliner but not those pathetic things. Oh and sharing the chores and helping each other. Supporting each other in activities, you don't have to have the same hobby, in fact it's healthy not to but, you need to know that your partner is proud of what you do. OK so not everyone likes big stinky horses but, If I come home at the end of the day with a beaming smile because something went fab, I like to know that the person I tell is actually pleased with me. It works the other way too, I like to think of myself as dead supportive, I mean I don't care what the hobby/sport/pastime is I'll be right there giving all the necessary support required, in whatever form it takes.

I'm wandering off the topic...or am I? Is that whats really bothering me? I like a partner I can play with...hmmm...by 'play' I mean mess about with, like play jokes on each other and play fight etc. I'm a huge fan of sticking Ice Cubes down backs cause that ends in a play fight which usually ends up as something else! I love to laugh and smile and I do it a lot. I'm a physical person and a bit 'touchy feely', I show affection in public and I don't care who is watching, I like to hold hands...OK so I'm 41 but, I like it...I'm not going to stop because I'm 41. I'm young at heart and I love fun and games.

I'm worried about sex! What if it's different? I mean I am not going to know until I try it but, what if..... You see my biggest problem is trusting a partner, not the general day to day trust but, the whole sexual aspect. You see I'm ashamed of the way I look and once I get past that with someone I'm OK but, initially I am timid and shy I'm fine once that trust is there. I'm very loving and loyal, I guess it stems from that kitty cat lion background! I don't like sex cheapened, it's a very personal thing. I like kisses, I like them a lot, they make you feel loved.

I don't like being shouted at in fact I hate it, nor do I like being sworn at. If I ever do something wrong I much prefer it if someone talks to me about it and how to resolve it. Confrontation makes me feel intimidated and small. I don't like crying, I have done to much of it. Men should not be afraid to cry, they are and they should not be, it does not make them weak.

So I guess I just want to know if I will still be seen as a woman and if I'll still be the type of partner someone would want and love? I guess it remains to be seen.....You know I'm not sure where I went with this blog but I feel a little better now even if I can't answer my own questions.

The last Sunday

Well this is my last sunday. This time next week I'll be in! Gosh it's come round quick. Blood test Wednesday for cross matching purposes but, that's enough of that.

Right so I went shopping today as it was my last chance to grab some odds and ends. You know just a few essentials...OK OK I got Gladiator on Blu Ray!!!! Medicinal reasons I swear :-) I also bought a set of extreemly tiny drill bits for my Dremmel so I can start work on the hull once I am back. Hey I should start a Titanic model blog!

TC and I had a good workout and he went well, makes me hopeful for a good run in the Championships. Have two classes on Thursday first. I am going to treat them as a dry run to help settle my nerves. I seriously don't expect him to place this year as there are some seriously more experienced horses out there but, he has qualified and I never expected him to qualify at all, so that is an achievement in itself. If I can go out there and have a good run on him, I'll be happy.

I have the McTimoney chiropractor coming tomorrow to check him over and adjust accordingly. McTimoney stimulates muscle groups to correct defects as opposed to trying to alter the joint itself, if that makes sense? TC has a slightly rotated pelvis that we are working on from where he had to stand badly because of his injuries. The muscle tone is back but, we need to straighten the pelvis. He has excercises to do and it's working slowly but can take a while to sort.

My stuff is sorted for the Championships, I just need to clean my saddle etc. I'll do that tomorrow after work. Have to iron a couple of things to pack for me.

Now if I could just find a cure for my nerves.......

Movies...

Having just finished watching a nice cheesy movie...Legally Blonde...I was thinking about some of the great movies that I love. These are the ones that I drag out time and time again.

Gladiator, Now I love this the visuals are amazing and I love the score. Obviously it's set in my favorite time period - The Romans! What a wonderful bunch they were. Joaquin Phoenix is absolutely brilliant and Russell Crowe really does take the part and make it his own. You can guarantee that I will be adding the Blu ray version to my 2 disc special edition and extended cut!

Bladerunner, Wow, wow, wow I know own every single version of this film from the original with the dodgy monologue that Harrison Ford did not want to do, to the Final Cut. Another recent addition to my Blu ray collection it's absolutely stunning in HD and for it's 25 years does not look dated at all.

Man on Fire, Oh this is an amazing film, had me totally engrossed from the word go. Denzel Washington plays the part to a tee. In fact I will not tell you about it in case you have not seen it!! Deja Vu is another must for Denzel Fans along with Philadelphia.

Lord of War, Nicolas Cage is great in this and it really does show the stupidity of arms trading and how intertwined it is with politics.

Cleopatra, now I have the original Liz Taylor, Richard Burton film and I think it's just wonderful. Sorry but the sight of Richard Burton in that white leather breast plate is quite enough for me! Is only slightly surpassed now by the sight of Russell Crowe, oh it makes a girls heart race...

Trilogy's....Well that has to be taken by Star Wars (the original three), Indiana Jones and The Lord of the Rings. That said I really enjoyed the 'Bourne' series too.

Musicals, well Evita gets my vote I saw this live on stage this year and it was absolutely wonderful. Not really a musical but, The Glen Miller Story holds a special place in my heart.

Titanic, is a great film, I have a strange obsession with that ship....

The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons, are two welcome new additions and have turned me into a big Dan Brown fan. Eagerly awaiting 'The Lost Symbol'.....

Casino Royal and Quantum of Solace are great everybody loves a Bond Film, I love them even more now they have Daniel Craig in them.. OK maybe I should stop at this point because I am going to wander into Actors and Actresses that I like, Maybe I shall do another blog on that.

Before I go though I feel I must venture into television slightly because I know its not a film but, it does have 5 films as off shoots....Babylon 5, it's amazing...Shadows, Narns, Minbari and my personal favourite....Vorlon's...

So I will leave you all with my favourite Kosh Quote:

When the avalanche has already started, it's to late for the pebbles to vote!

Calm in a storm

I don't know whats up with me today. I have been surronuded by people for pretty much most of the day but, feel somewhat lonely. I'm not down or low. So I don't know whats wrong. I feel ok. I think..... weird huh? Oh well I can thank Nickleback for getting me through with 'Far Away' damn I love that record.

So anyway, other than that I'm fine. This is my last full weekend to get some serious prep done before I leave for the Championships next week. Need to seriously work on the lope so it might involve a couple of intensive sessions. I have all my kit to get together over the weekend too. I guess it's going to be a pretty hectic week.

I have not even started work on the Titanic yet, well apart from preparing the hull for spraying. Once I get the Dremmel back I can drill the Portholes but that is not really going to happen now till after the operation.

One thing I have decided though, is that I am going to take a holiday next year. I have not had one in a couple of years and I really want to head back to the States. Was investigating flights earlier and they are not as dear as I thought. Gives me something to shoot for too...that said I have not been to Australia yet and I just know that my brother would love me to go over.

If that lottery win ever comes in then I am going to book that Titanic Memorial Cruise, now that would be something.